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We're Moving Back To MySpace !!

20.59

the studio

I am going to be ceasing operations here for the time being. I'm not liking this whole advertsiment thing, how one is now forced to endue listening / viewing it so I will be reverting back to one of my older sites which used to see a whole lot of action and that's right here: http://www.myspace.com/ghwaters

If you add the word music behind it, you get the studio website. While also defunct, it is also being re-activated as well since I now see a need for it.

While I had hoped my on-line journal would be here on LJ, myspace just makes more sense now. This does not mean that I am taking down this site. Quite the contrary, it shall reamin up as long as the LJ folks allow it to.

I hope that you will be able to follow my journeys through life.

Give-Love-Each-Day,
   Big George aka Earth xoxoxo

another day of _________...

03.20

the studio

I was all set to cook a nice dish of pasta now only to discover that my propoane cycliner has gone dry, so much for that...

Anyhow, today was interesting. I got blamed at work for something I had nothing to do with, and wolF is also being fucked with.

We both returned to the homestead and a much needed discussion took place between the two of us. The outcome was that we both love each other very much, so - this is good news...

I've been looking at information regarding a sailing kit for the AIRE Sea Tiger. Maybe by the fall I can swing something, but for now I will continue to run a tight ship.

Going back to 'the job' I just flashed on something: with the amount of nepatisim and buddy buddy bullshit, there's no surprise all the manufacturing jobs are headed over seas. God forbid they simply hire qualified personal and give them jobs equal to their skills. No way... todays world is much different: it's give the stupid people all the good / critical jobs and let the skilled workers fester.

Gotta love it.
Of course, you can hate it too...

Loki the white cow was very happy to see me - and very affectionate towards me as well.
Eris is her usual silly self.
...and wolF, while tense (and rightly so too) - did display some affection towards me as well tonight.

Animals here are calm.
Mad Kitty over at the homestead was having oodles of fun with a bottle cap - whacking it everywhere...

So, after another dreadful day at the job, all is goods tonight...

Time for beds !!
Sleeps....

xoxoxo Big George

Ghostrider motorcycle hero...

14.20

the studio

A new week begins now. Hopefuly it's not too painful either. Last week was alright I guess. It ended on a good note, and I honestly remember very little about the rest of it. Yesterday I went on a 5.5 hour kayaking trip, and I was immediatley reminded why I hat kayaking in the summer.

Why??

Because all the yahoos come out to play - and ruin it for everyone.

The new park at the boat launch is already resembling either Disneyland or an open sewer - depending on how one looks at it. Throngs of people polluting... Nobody caring... (and me getting madder and madder knowing that there is nothing I can do about it - except turn my back)

Last night I thought was going to be the first night me and wolF sleep togther - but as usual, this was not to be. We are so 180 deg out on almost everything, sometimes I wonder how much longer this will last for before she simply takes the easy way out and moves back to Ann Arbor so she can just coast along. Wolf  wants so hard to be a part of the traveling community, something she's done in the past and really identifies with. I don't understand why she just does not do it. That would be like me not kayaking anymore - and that's never going to happen as long as I'm alive...

We did though watch a movie together in the newly decorated front room on the 3rd floor. Ghostrider. It was great.  I have a movie here called The Search which I need to watch at some point in time as well.

Come to the conclusion that jug wine is the safest thing for me to consume if looking for a good time. It's economical, fun, and no hangover (when used properly). Carlo Rossi Rhine wine is currently doing the trick, and will continue to do so I feel. One jug last 3 days !! How cool is that ??

14.28

I sent an email off to the board of aldreman president asking about if there will be any additional parking being added now that there's a park adjacent to the old boat launch. No reply as of yet, but then again - it's still early...

Today: Flip kayak to proper storage condition (currently it is drying / airing out).
Tonight: To bed early - have much to do tomorrow yard work wise...

Late yesterday afternoon while kayaking I heard Kat's voice on WSHU during Echo's, so I decided to finally make a pledge of support (which I was thinking about doing anyway since I had the membership letter sitting in front of me at the studio) and it was very strange the way my call was handled. I must have fallen from grace as far as Kat goes. What else is new...

14.35

Time to head into the job. Wonder if wolF is up yet or if she's going to bother heading in...

It's all good.

Give-Love-Each-Day...
  Big George aka Earth  xoxoxo

Giving thought for the next decade or so...

11.24

the studio

Today starts off with possibly the very last dialog on FB.
I am not pleased with how they changed my profile around - and took out anything they did not like.
So, I am entertaining the thought of moving to twitter.
But, then again, maybe not...

Well, in the meantime I'll stay here until the LJ folks do something that pisses me off.

11.32

I brought my little white clock back to this studio from wolF's place. I simply saw no reason to keep it there, because it was redundant there but needed here. I am also going to move the AIRE boats back here too, infact - several items will come back. My remote digital recording set up, along with a couple of odds and ends will come back - not because I don't want them there - it's because I see no reason to have any of these items there. It's silly. This studio is permenant for at least the next 10 years, while the homestead is in a continious state of flux, and us cats do not like change at all.

wolF is finally getting closer to her dream of being involved with the 'traveling' community: those folks who choose to live life on the road, experiencing complete and absolute freedom.

I am completely in favor of this and feel it's marvelous that she will be able to dedicate one floor or the other for this venture. I always liked the idea that her place is two seperate apartments. This enables many many possibilities including subletting - to the point where she could be living almost for free if she did it right.
 
While I originally thought of subletting the upstairs, present events prohibit this, which again is fine because at this moment I would have no reason to do so since this studio is still "in pause mode" so to speak.

Today: Yard Work. Move some of the above mentioned items back here if time permitts.
Tomorrow: Continue.

11.40

Yesterday I went on possibly one of the best kayaking trips I've done in years. Saw soooooo much wildlife, mainly in the form of river birds and raptors - including a juvinille bald eagle who was being attacked by osprey. The eagle was on the beach to the NE of the defense plant on the Housatonic River. Amazing to witness such dramatic scene's...

I decided that I will no longer take a camera with me on any of my journeys - because there is no reason to. Almost nobody really cares about my images these days, and that's fine too. I know what I see, and if someone is interested, then they have the option of tagging along.

11.45

Time to get rolling !!

Give-Love-Each-Day
   Big George aka Earth xoxoxo

Today is Mothers Day.

12.11

the studio

After a much needed sleep (10 hours) I can honestly say I feel rejuvinated. My back is in pain, but this was due to a reclining position I had last night while watching a movie with wolF. I forget the title, but it started off good - then when it became apparent that it was going to be non-stop action, I retreated under the blanket. 

I've noticed today that there is very little balance or dynamics... eveything has to be full on at all times, and this is something I do not like at all.

A good correspondence between me and Irene, my former biology teacher. She gets credit as being the first to recognize that I am not happy. Sometimes it's best to discuss matters with a 3rd party and see where this brings you. I will be curious as to what she will reply with.

12.16

Today is Mothers day. A day which tends to lend itself to much embarressemet, among other things - especially in public places - but it's ok. It's only once a year, well twice if we include Easter...

I am hopefull that I can manage a short kayaking trip on the river afterwards - maybe 2 hours or so...

Smokie cat has on his face - in the whisker area - what I thought was a tick. I tried to remove it - and concluded that it might actually be a growth. I will leave things be and give Smokie a thorough check again tomorrow, then call the vet for further instructions. If it is a growth, I hope I did not make matters worse. Perhaps it can be removed the way troublesome moles are with humans...

12.20

I once again thought about the X-2 Starship. I once again concluded that right now is probably not a good time to be thinking about this boat. I'm sorry I did not buy it when I had the chance... a chance I probably won't get again.

I did not bring the AIRE boats back here last night. I've cooled on the idea of selling them too. I've named them both with names wolF came up with, so this means they are mine / ours and to part with them would be a bad omen.

Some friends are letting me know that the census people are showing up at their door's even though they have mailed in their forms. I understand they are very menacing too. If they knock on this door, they better start running when I open it. I filed out my forms, and that's that...

Today: visit my folks, then a short kayaking trip.
Tonight: Otter and Wolf time

Tomorrow: Examine Smokie, call vet - then take it from there. My original plans called for a long kayaking trip, but this does not really need to take place. My animals come first...

Give-Love-Each-Day
  Big George aka Earth xoxoxo

another sad day...

19.10

the studio


A sad day is coming to a close.
 
Once again a night of not enough sleep, followed by a shitty day at work, followed by what I hoped was going to be a fun afternoon and evening.

It wasn't...

In fact, I feel worse today than I have in many many years.

I did however just figure it all out.
Once Loki came into the picture, out I went.

Oddly enough, I'm ok with that - because it allows me to do whatever I like but at the same time I'm very sad, because I'm once again left out in the cold.

Every idea I come up with now always proves to be wrong.

The other thing is there is no more joy. This bothers me more than anything else. Life is now a constant source of stress for me, with nothing good looking down the road either.

I should be happy but I am not.

19.19

It's tough, because if I do nothing tonight - I will feel as if I wasted yet another good day. But, on the other hand - if I allow myself to have some fun, this in turn will be bad because it would rob me of much needed sleep. Well, maybe for once I can have it both ways.

There's 10 cans of Milwaulkies Best in the beer chest.
They are about 50 deg F, which is perfect.

I will bring the AIRE boats back here for safe keeping. I probably should sell them both, because I know deep down inside that they will never be used. I feel terrible that I did not go with choice #1: The X-2 Starship made by Tsunami. Micco has it still, but I cannot bring myself to call him. I blew that deal, and that's that... But the cool thing about the X-2 is that it can be paddled solo even though it's a tandem boat, which is way way cool.

Maybe next year...

All-The-Way-Alone
 Earth xoxo

We Die Young...

10.32

the studio

Alice And Chains wrote some of the most intense real music I have ever heard. Get's you really amped up. This one is no exception...


Yesterday thing's reached a new low with me. I would up being a few minutes late for work because my insides were churning and burning because I knew I was going to get hung out to dry. I missed a couple of items, actually - a few of them, all critical. This was due to one thing and one thing only: Being under too much pressure.

Meanwhile, I was envious of wolF being able to blow off work alltogether because we did not car pool together, which has to be one of the weirder reasons for not going in - but a vaild one - because by not riding in together - this provided wolF with the freedom to do as she pleases. I suggested later on that we should not car pool together anymore, because it puts too much of a restriction in place: If one wants to split, or decide not to go in at all - it makes this choice a little more complicated. All I know is today I'm driving myself in, and also tomorrow... If thing's go wrong, I can always leave and go kayaking since I always have a boat and my gear with me.

10.38

I guess I fell asleep by 2.30am
I was back up by 7.30am and ready to go.

This works out good, because today is another ultra crazy day for me between more yard work, household chores, buying flowers for Mother's Day and last but not least: Visiting my hairstylist Karen. She has been tasked with my style needs for well over 20 years now, so we know each other pretty good. It's funny, when I first started seeing her, she used to love smoking and going barefoot. Today she does neither. Older and wiser - perhaps... but is she still fun?? I'll think about this aspect of her in a little while when I drop into her shop.

10.40

"We Die Young"

This can be interpertated many ways. I see it as the end of living but not the end of life.

My first 39 years were overal pretty damned good. A few bumps in the road, but with the exception of 1995 and 1999 - a good time. Once I turned 40 though, everything went from ok to bad to worse, a trend which continues to this day. There's nothing I really can do about this current situation except work through it. The difference is I'm no longer going to push hard, I will take it easy and just live life one day at a time...

The only thing I really have to look forwards to regarding the future is a long peaceful rest. Death and dying are a part of life, something we can ignore but cannot escape. As I get older I remember how when I was maybe 7 years old, I was very afraid of dying. Today I am not. I in fact look forwards to that day, and hope that nothing happens after death. I just want to be shut off so I can rest for all of eternity. Now dear readers, by no means is this a cry for help or a message of suicide. I've lived through that with Leslie - and today view it as a total cop-out. Winners don't quit, because quiters don't win...

Yesterday I got a very thoughtfull comment from ChrisTDF. Chris is someone I am deeply connected with even though we rarely communicate, and never see one another. I guess that's still ok - because if you really love someone, none of that stuff really matters because you are still connected.

10.55

A horrific odor is wafting through the air. A combination of death and Capt. Morgans spiced rum. Must open windows at once!!

I had a very brief dialog with a human named... crap, I already forgot her name - but wolF knows her through Lara and I just essentially replied to a posting she did about eating meat. I still feel it is morally wrong to do so, along with wearing leather goods unless no other options present themselves. I can't believe I forgot her name. What's interesting is that I'm about say 10 years older than Lara but this woman is about 10 years older than me !! Difference's in generations are always amusing to me, however I suspect her generation and mine are far more common than say wolF and Lara's generation...

11.00

Today: Off to bank, then visit Karen, buy Mother's Day plants, and lastly: Yard work with Blue the cat helping.
Tomorrow: Kayak.

While I accept that my life as I once knew it is over, I will still try to maintain a healthy way of living with a proper balance if work and play.

It's all good, even if it's not...

Big George aka Earth xoxo

Living only to die.

12.30

the studio

Today marks a turing point in my life.
I recognize that I have failed, made many mistakes, and am now possibly the must un-happiest I've been since the fall of 1999.

I never thought I would be in the position I am today where I am just bogged down with everything.
There is no freedom, only work...

The past couple of weeks have given me much greater insight than I could ever imagine gaining in such a short amount of time. The Gulf Oil Well explosion (s) for starters...

Such luminaries like Bob Grant called it mysterious. Now that a report has surfaced from possibly Russia stating that North Korea was directly involved (and possibly China too) all of a sudden, this explosion was no longer mysterious.

Why??

Because we would have to realize that as a nation we fucked up once again.

12.35

N. Korea and China, Iran, and Russia are all allies. They also hate us.
N. Korea hates S. Korea.

This offshore oil well, while BP, is actually pumping for S. Korea.
So, by torpedoing this rig, it achieves 2 thing's:
1. destroys S. Korea's economy
2. destroys Gulf water (and U.S. coastlines).

Now, I just flashed on something: I wonder what Cuba is thinking about all this...

12.39

I considered Facebook an interesting social network which might have even had some usefullness to it, but now I recognize it as also being a soapbox - something which I can be easily accused of using it for as well. So, I did my last up-date there. Fuck People. It's not like any of them have any interest in me as a person...

When I was in the SEDP, we worked on a piece of music as an instrumental which I originally  co-wrote with a loose project in NYC called Tribal Catharsis. We (myself on electris bass, John Griffin drumming, and Bernard McDermott on electric guitar and vocals) did one 3 hour session, of which I have in it's entirety on tape at a place called Ultra-Sound. I vividly remember this session well. John came with a female companion, while me and Bernard had shopping bag's filed with quarts of Bud. The energy and playing was at an all time high. I still consider it one of the best studio experiences I've ever had. This occured around St. Paddys Day, 1996. I want to say it was a Sunday night but I could be wrong.

Anyhow, there was one tune which had an amazing buildup to it, climaxed with Bernards spontanious vocals. About a year into rehersing with the SEDP (also a power trio with myself on bass duties + vocals, Jose Then on guitar, and Scotty Olsen all about those drums) we did a version of the TC tune with new vocals incorporated with the original vocals Bernard came up with. I also borowed from a writting Leslie Leeds did too, as it turned out ot be - her very last one. The tune wound up being called Living Only To Die because I felt it sumed up everything in my life back then. Well, that piece of music is actually even more revelant today...

It's rare for a band to perform something that is truly timeless or gets better with age. It's even more amazing when that band was your very own.

It's safe to say I have about 800 minutes of tape dealing with the project I did with Jose and Scott. Out of that, it's safe to say that 1/2 of it is astounding, pure magic...

Thank God I had the wisdom to record everything.

12.51

Once we recognize failure, there are two paths one can take.
1. stay at rock bottom
2. rise above

I like choice 2 better but it's going to take a whole lot of work and discpline.

The first thing I have to realize is that once I am dead, I am dead.
Nothing's gonna matter anymore.
That being said, it's time to not let anything bother me which I have no control over.

As for trying to get back on top, one could say why bother and argue the point above - but I do feel that something positive, constructive needs to be done while on this earth.

One thing I have noticed is much of my problems today are directly related to after I got my first computer.
Ignorance is bliss...

So, I must reverse this treand and get back in touch with the thing's which really matter.

12.58

Time to do some yardwork, then lunch, then off to the job.

There is no god but God.

Big George xoxo

Rest In Peace Hugo...

01.36

the studio

wolF turned me on to a newspaper article regarding a recent incident in Queens NY where a homeless man named Hugo came to the aid of a woman supposedly being attacked by a knife yeilding man.

Of course, Hugo gets stabbed and eventually dies in a pool of his own flesh and blood - while the man and the woman split (not too mention all the passerbys too).

I spent some time trying to figure out the rational behind this - and then it occured to me - actually, a lightbulb turned on after reading a comment some one wrote regarding one of the on-line articles - this may have been a domestic dispute that went wrong, and the woman - is hiding behind her man, protecting him too...

This would make them both murder suspects in my book.

Fuck N.Y.C.
This is exactly why I left when I did, over 23 years ago now.

And to make matters worse - all these professionals are validating as what happened as being a normal response to everyday life in NYC...

Really?? 

I wonder if Mayor Bloomberg feels this way.
I bet if Rudy were still mayor he would not feel that way at all.

01.45

Very sad. But if I were in charge, punishment would be severe - and those 25 people would owe it to the universe as to why they left a homeless man to die on the streets of NYC - not too mention that woman and the man with the knife. I view them as equals in this case.

It's not like Hugo was a rich pig in a suit, he was just a good man who just happend to be homeless, and wanted to save somebodys life, just like another saviour... 

(I suspect JC has hooked up Hugo with a direct path straight to heaven.)

01.49

Tonight ended on a sort of personal sad note. Me and wolf clash too much too soon about thing's which shouldn't matter one way or the other. It's very good we live the way we do because there's no way we copuld ever be under the same roof full time - only because we are sooooooo different...

I feel ok I guess.
Sleeps will be goods tonight.

I hope tomorrows a better day.
   Big George aka Earth...

May Day, 2010...

10.59

the studio

Today begins anew.

Feeling really good, believe to have fully recovered from Saturdays incident, which is good news.
Health is ultra important, without it - we are nothing...

Yesterday, I was giving much thought to what direction I would go not if but when I return to music.
I chose to take a much needed break after 2003 after perhaps the greatest musical project I've ever had the privilage of being a part of disolved. By late last year, the desire to go into a solo direction took firm hold, and I made a series of recordings direct to digital from November thru December. I set up a small but informative site on myspacemusic, and suddenly abandonded it.

But yesterday I was thinking more in a group term, I also thought about procuring a used Chapman Stick, perhaps at years end...

Variety is the spice of life, something I enjoy very much.

11.05

I've been leafing thru the book accompanying the KC boxed set "The Great Deceiver" which I know feel I am finally able to give a proper listen. When I first heard RED in 2003 (why it took me so long is another matter for discussion) I knew I finally heard the truth. This is also around the same time The Power To Believe came out, a completely different Crimson, but one equal in strength. But, the 1972 - 1974 Crimsoning was a sight to behold. And a joy to hear. There is no question that Robert Fripp et.al have produced some of the best touring performances in modern times...

Yesterday I also made my semi annual shift in the kayaking dept. The winter boats have been put away into storage, the summers taken out of hibernation. This May Day appears to be a warm one, upper 70's for both Saturday and Sunday. There was a time I really looked forwards to going to the Rock Against Racism concerts, especially during the early 1980's... We really felt that we were a part of something being the Reagan Youth. It's interesting to note that today I consider him perhaps our last great president.

I've also been thinking again about a return to avant garde photography. Facebook can be thanked for this, because it has allowed me to re-connect with several people I used to work with in that relm. Annette providing some of my greatest work ever, while kathy providing some of my most provacative. How I would do anything to work with either of them today...

11.15

For a while, I had a site up on deviantART - which I also recently abandonded. The thought behind this was to be a vehicle for my digital photography, something which I still view with mixed emotions. I still prefer 35mm B&W print film over anything else - because of the process involved with making each print. No two prints could ever possibly be the same, making each one an original.

As time goes on, I now abandon anything I view as a wastes of time. Last night after walking Loki and Eris with wolF, I emptied out the famous 'washing machine' beer chest of it's contents (Milwaulkies Best) since I've come to the conclusion that wolF is right: Cheap Beer = Bad. Besides, I hardly really even drink anymore, since it takes away from doing thing's I would much rather be doing instead.

11.19

Today: Get my non-resident permitt from the Town of Stratford so I can launch my kayaks from there.
Friday: Yard work
May Day: Hiking with Loki, Eris, and wolF, then maybe go kayaking.
Sunday: Visit my parents, then definately go kayaking...
Monday: Start over, begin anew...

All is Goods.

Give-Love-Each-Day.
    - Big George aka Otter xoxoxoxo